Truth is stranger than fiction...even at The Fiction Scribe
I was 18 years old, temporarily living back at home with my parents (I know they must have loved that). I had recently broken up with my girlfriend at the time, or I should say, she started dating someone else, THEN broke up with me. Anyway, I met this cute girl one night while cruising around our small town's shopping plaza, and when I say "cruising" I don't mean trolling for prostitutes, I mean driving around McDonald's, Long John Silvers, Hardees, and Pizza Hut in a continuous circular pattern for hours upon hours (for all you small-towners out there, I'm sure you know exactly what I mean). Sometimes, we would get nutty and head over to Wal-Mart's parking lot or swing by Arby's. Note that all this time, the main thing we are doing is driving around in the attempt to locate someone we know, preferably ones of the more delicate gender.
Those desperate or confused enough to talk to extremely huge geeks such as ourselves included the following:
blind females
mentally ill females
dumb females
inebriated females
blind, mentally ill, dumb, inebriated females
Somehow, I managed to find a cute girl willing to talk to that wasn't any of the above; I didn't realize until later that she was a female who had an extremely jealous, drug-dealing, drug-addicted ex-boyfriend. I ask her out and she says "yes".
Our date is broken into three parts:
PART I
So we go on our date and she offers to drive. Cool, right? Well, considering the fact that she drove a convertible Bronco - yes, I said "convertible Bronco" - it wasn't as cool as I had hoped. Seems she has a bit of a welding streak as well as a wild streak, so she decided to cut the top of her Ford Bronco right the eff off.
On top of that, her 12 year-old sister's babysitter bails on them, so she has to go with us.
The three of us take off on our date, our hair blowing in the wind, because as I mentioned, we are in a convertible Bronco.
PART II
Our "date" mainly, no, only consisted of cruising around Beaumont Plaza in a vain attempt for additional recreation. Then, my date locates a friend who is very distressed. Her friend proceeds to tell the three of us that another friend of theirs just found out he got his girlfriend pregnant, and is drunk, in a cow pasture, threatening suicide. So, without hesitation my date barks her tires, turns on the 4x4, and proceeds to head to the aforementioned cow pasture.
When we get there, it is surreal. Four or five cars are there, the drunk daddy-to-be is there, picking a fight with his dad, swinging like a madman, and funnily enough, missing every time. My date, as well as a few other females there, are trying to calm him down, but he is obviously a mean whiskey drunk, so their pleas fall on deaf ears. As he is still trying to fight his dad, it seems he was getting rather warm, what with all the excitement of the moment and all, so he begins to undress. Did I mention we are in a cow pasture? We have had enough when he starts picking a fight with me. To top it all off, he starts trying to get into the convertible Bronco with us....in his tighty whities....as the Bronco is driving off. Drunk guy then grabs my door as we take off, so I have to hit him a couple times to make him let go. Even for a wiry drunk guy, he is strong, so we drag him approximately 30-40 feet.
On the way back to my date's house, time is dragging, for I am extremely ready to go home. It is very late. We stop at a convenient store and she sees him - the jealous, drug-dealing and drug-addicted ex-boyfriend. He is about 30, huge, and quite nuts. In another car is one of his even older druggie friends. They harasses both me and her, as well as one of my friends I run across in the store. As the potty mouthed, 12 year-old sister begins to scream obscenities at the druggies, I am preparing my eulogy.
We start driving to her house, though, we notice a couple of vehicles following us. We get to her house, and it is them. They start yelling at me again, threatening to kick my ass and other essential body parts. Potty Mouth goes off on them yet again. As I get in my car, they block me from leaving. I try to get around them, and they begin to circle my car in a very successful attempt to intimidate me. Finally, they let me go.
Through it all, it was unusual, eventful, and memorable, if not scary as hell. The next day, she calls me and apologizes about it all, and then proceeds to ask me out for another date. Did I say "YES" or 'NO"? Hmmmm.
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Update on Queens and Crescents
Great news! Yesterday, I returned the proofs of my book back to my editor. Now, after another round of revisions, it will go on to the cover art department, where they will create the front and back book covers! It is very exciting, and most importantly, it won't be too long before it will be available to purchase. Soon I will be setting up some radio and newspaper interviews for promotional purposes; I have the green light for a couple good sized radio stations in Kentucky (84 WHAS in Louisville and 63 WLAP in Lexington). At work one day, I talked with a gentleman who is the editor for two newspapers in Indiana, and I also talked with a lady who trains people to do DJ work at a local radio station in the Tri-state area (Kentucky, Indiana, and Ohio, near Cincinnati). People have always told both my brother and I that we have excellent radio voices (think Barry White, then go up an octave or so); others have mentioned we have faces for radio as well. I suppose we were born to do it.
Regardless, it might be a good opportunity to get some exposure, as well as try something different.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you!!!!
posted by Barry S. at 8:25 AM
