You ain't on Baywatch anymore

Since I don't have a specific topic to ramble on about ad nauseum, I figured I'd discuss a whole slew of 'em. That way, if you get bored with one topic, you can avoid it and move on to the next.

Newest exciting news about my book: I have a radio interview next Friday, June 7th, at approximately 4pm. The station is WHAS-84 am, a massive radio station out of Louisville, KY. I will be on the Terry Meiners Show, a popular and funny broadcaster. We will discuss my book and upcoming book signing in Louisville on July 8th. He must have been drunk while agreeing to this, but like the selfish, attention whore I am, show will go on. I will post another link very shortly up on the UPCOMING APPEARANCES section of my site. NOTE: WHAS-84 has live streaming, so you all can listen to your favorite author (me) on the Internet at www.whas.com. Just click the area on the top right that says, "CLICK TO LISTEN LIVE".

New cool band: Tea Leaf Green. They are a bunch of San Francisco hippies who can can jam. They fall into the Phish type of category. If you like Phish, or other jam bands, you will like these guys. I am already putting peanut butter on my hair and bathing in patchouli water in nervous anticipation of their next tour date. Check them out, and if you don't like them, don't tell me, cause I like them, and if you don't you must have something wrong with you. I have given you all plenty of ideas to be more like me and if you have ignored or missed them don't complain to me.

Worst tv show on tv: I realize that title is a bit redundant, since tv shows can only be on tv, but I didn't feel like backspacing and then retyping. I am a hunt-and-peck typer anyway, so any regressive motions can cause serious delays. Plus, I am on lunch now and need all the time I can get. Anywho, worst tv show on tv: America's Got Talent. Hosted my Regin Philbin, the judges panel, which consists of David Hasselhoff, Brandy, and some snarly English wanker, have buttons with big X's on them to eliminate the contestant as soon as they feel the need to. It is muy horrible. Last night, there was some 6'8" Russian homosexual named Leinid the Magnificent all dressed up in a butterfly costume. His "talent", aside from being as gay as anyone I have ever seen in my life, was balancing swords while doing the splits. Now, in Russia, where they fight for bread crumbs and shoot people a lot, this might be considered a talent. But in Brooklyn, he is just a 6'8" weirdo balancing swords while doing the splits. Personally, he should get into magic, since he obviously has made his testicles as well as any form of self-esteem disappear. It's pretty sad when David Hasselhoff is the most talented person in a group of 2,500 people.

Mosty dramatic, unrealistic reality show: Real World Key West. Counting the nasty gay guy, they have 4 males on there and I think 3 females. All of them are idiots, especially the crazy girl who picks her scabs all day and talks like a four-year old. Once you have the ability to form complete sentences, you should refrain from BABY TALK - especially when you are on a tv show. When she is not crying on the phone with her abusive boyfriend, drinking excessively, screaming at her roommates, or being an overall anorexic, pain in the arse, she seems pretty normal. The gay guy is such a b-tch. He is nasty, vindictive, mean, and lots of other stuff. But at least he knows it, and he doesn't have any scabs to pick at - at least no visible ones.
There is no way in hell 7 strangers like this band o'losers would ever pick each other to live together.
I was sorely disappointed to see them all come out of Hurricane Wilma with no head trauma, because I feel something like that might really improve their personalities as well as overall demeanor.

Worst sporting team in the world: USA men's soccer. We got beat by the Czech Republic AND Ghana in the same tournament. Do I need to go any further?

OK, enough negativity. Talk amongst yourselves from here on out.