Van Halen said it best

What do you think these women have in common? Porn? Stripping? Herpes commercial rejects? Shoplifting crack whores who sing in front of Bojangles for free food? Yup, you guessed it, they are all, or at least were, teachers.

There seems to be a bit of an epidemic these days, an epidemic of young, good-looking, Generation Y women (mostly blonde, too) who are teachers. These women are molding the minds of America's youth. These women look professional, dress well, and have had previous success in beauty pageants and one in particular is on the US National Bikini Team. Although not all, most of these teachers are having sex with their students, and it pisses me off. Why you ask? Well, because of the obvious - all my teachers from junior high through high school looked like jackals. Mustachoed hags with rows upon rows of big, gnarly teeth; large, eagle-sized beaks; loads of sweaty fatrolls, warts, scabs, carbuncles and sores - and those were the good-looking ones. Coming to school was a test of wills for us, and not in a good way. We had to struggle to keep our food down looking at our history teacher after lunch. Never once did I even slightly consider an affair with a teacher, or anyone else for that matter. My idea of sex in junior high was trying to "accidentally" brush my hand up against some random girl's ass in the hallway, let alone trying to nail my social studies teacher after kickball practice.

Now, it seems the male youth of today's junior high schools are subjected to a seemingly unending gaggle of good-looking, MySpaced, hypersexual, mentally unstable women, who want nothing else but scrog underage boys. If I were 14 again, I'd say sign me up! They supply their students with booze, porn, even dirty cell phone videos like this Tennessee wench did. To a 14 year-old boy. Its crazy.

Now, all kidding aside, I want to go on the record and say that these women are criminals. They are pedophiles. they are predators. As an adult, I find them reprehensible, loathsome skanks who should be punished to the fullest extent of the law.They even deserve their own Dateline NBC show. But still, from my inner 9th grade boy point of view, I am wondering something:
Where in the h-e-double hockey sticks were these crazy trollops at when I was in school? Oh, I know, they were gaining experience for there future professions by screwing the captains of their basketball teams - and their coaches.

For more info on slutty, pedophile pedagogues, click here.