Weekly Liner Notes

The guy on the left is none other than Terry Meiners, host of the Terry Meiners Show on 84-WHAS am. He will be the one interviewing me around 4pm EST this Friday (July 7, 2006). The guy on the right is Rick Pitino, coach of the Louisville Cardinals (for you, Trav, ole buddy). He normally doesn't wear gray, velour leisure suits, but since he heard of my being interviewed, he thought it would be best to dress up a little for the photo. Please listen if you can. Hopefully, I won't slur my words or sound like a complete jackass, or talk about anything inappropriate such as bowel movements, farting, or incontinence. Well, maybe farting, because farting is funny. Also, the book signing is Saturday, June 8, 2006 at Barnes and Noble in Louisville, KY. I will have photos and stories next week.

________________________________________

Now, onto my rant. Advertising and commercials are so annoying, aren't they? Nowadays that most times I just mute the tv or skip over the page if it has an ad on it. One I saw this weekend is pretty bad - almost as bad as all those ridiculous herpes medication commercials, you know, the ones where everybody is good-looking and annoyed because their previous herpes medication forces them to swallow a pill twice a day. I'll never forget the one lady who said, "Take pills two times a day? I have a life." You are too busy to take 2 measly pills a day? You mean to tell me you cannot take, what, like 15 seconds out of your busy day sexing up the community, spreading your herpes willy nilly, to take your medication? C'mon.
The newest one is for Camel Wides. Camel cigarettes now have created the super cigarette. They should cater to the consumers who are looking for more tar and nicotine than most regular-sized smokes. They use the slogan, "Big. Fat. Delicious.", but if they were smart, they should have come up with slogans like, "More carcinogens per pack than in most regular-sized cartons!" Or, "Try new Camel Wides - perfectly sized for your trach hole!" Finally, "Eliminate nicotine stained fingertips with new Camel Wides...Now you can have your entire hand stained!"
Now, maybe it's just me, but they should get rid of all those plastic, phoney-baloney actors for their ads and commercials. Screw the ruggedly handsome Marlboro Man and hot go-getters with nary an unsightly blemish. From now on, I'd like to see real people on commericals like these. Real people with mammoth, purulent fever blisters the size of dinner plates, and gnarly, jagged, brown, stained teeth. Oh, and phlegm, lots of phlegm.
Now, that'd sell.