!Ay, Papi! - Guatemala Day II

Old Spanish style cathedral, now in ruins.

“!Ay, Papi!” This is what a carload of attractive Guatemalan mujeres jóvenes said to me on Day II. They drove by, smiled, and said this to me as I stared at them in awe. Well, more like confusion, since I had no clue what they said. One of the Guatemalan guys with us came back to me and told me it meant something along the lines of “Hey, baby!” or “Hey, Daddy!” Either way, I felt like a piece of meat. I loved it.

The entire trip everyone in our group kept saying to me: “!Ay, Papi!” to me. And, yes Chickybabe, if you are reading this, this was a BIG male ego boost. Heh heh heh
They also mentioned how "muy grande" I was, since I could use the typical Guatemalan as an armrest.

***Here’s a brief rant concerning Day I in Guatemala - one that I forgot to mention. Actually it is several rants bundled together, mostly tongue-in-cheek for your amusement, but they are assembled here today because I hope there are at least a couple people who feel the same. Or, there are people who are as nutty as me. Here goes:

Airplane rant 1. I am a bit of a germaphobe and I am quite sensitive to smells, so contrary to popular belief, the inhalation of noxious, unruly, eye-stinging body odor and ghastly perfumes, as well as being coughed on, sneezed on, burped on, or farted next to when I am attempting to eat my leathery chicken and soggy rice are not things I look forward to while flying the unfriendly skies.
Whew, I got tired just by typing that.
My God, I realize there isn’t a hell of a lot we can do with this, but if you have flatulence or some other GI disorder that propels stink from you please do all you can to rid yourselves of this PRIOR to boarding. I was trying to talk to my wife and I think I had a mini-stroke due to the horrific odor that crept up aside us. Honestly, a punch in the testicles couldn’t have stung worse.

Airplane rant 2. I am a thirsty guy; I enjoy libations of both the kiddie and adult crowd. What can I say - I like my juice boxes and beer! Not necessarily together, though (Sorry, I am derailing off topic).
Anyway, I want to have more than a shot glass’ worth of liquid to wash down a full meal! So, I ask the Flight Attendant for a drink – not just a small glass of drink, but the entire canister of drink – and I get a look. What the? Are you effing serious? You are giving me a look? I pay your salary, hun! I felt like George Castanza as I daydreamed the complete conversation in my mind:

Me (idiotically): “Hey lady, I am the King of looks! If anyone is gonna give a look, it’s gonna be me! Not you, sister!”

Flight Attendant (sardonically): “OK, OK, sir, it’s not me who’s gonna give a look – it is you who’s gonna give a look. You are the King of looks.”

Me (proudly): “Your damn right, it’s me! And, don’t you forget it!”

The Flight Attendant (proudly) then proceeds to pour my ginger ale into a tiny glass and walk away, failing to leave the rest of the can.

Me (mumbling silently): Bitch.

Airplane rant 3. I am 6’4”, and about 220 lbs, so I require a little more than a milk crate sized seat on an airplane. On top of that, I get to sit behind the guy who needs a nap the same time my “drink” is served to me, so he drops his seat back (as well as his large, bulbous head) and practically crushes my legs with the seatback. My knees are still hurting from the return flight because of this trauma. I feel like a clown in a Volkswagen beetle when I sit down on a plane. I realize you are a business and more seats equates to more money, but for Pete’s sake, have a heart and equip your planes with at least a couple seats that will comfortably hold a passenger of my size! I realize there are only a few passengers per flight who require more room. I am at a loss, though, because unlike obese flyers who need to purchase two seats, I cannot purchase more leg room, because God knows I would. Sorry Delta, but I’m not a dwarf. *

* No disrespect to dwarves, midgets, little people, elves, and of course, hobbits.

Am I being difficult or is flying one of the most stressful things a human can do?***

Now, back to GUATEMALA DAY II:

The weather was still warm yet a little overcast, and after breakfast (which consisted of fresh breads, fruit, yogurt, cereals, freshly squeezed orange juice, coffee, tea, and homemade marmalades) we trekked to the Parque Central. There are 4 main roads in Antigua, and as mentioned it is laid out in a grid pattern. The 4 mains form the outside edges of the Parque Central, and from there a multitude of packed side streets jut off from either side, all every block or so. The tough yet exciting thing about a town like Antigua is that is easy as hell to get lost in, because most every street looks the same, and they are not widely marked. The ones that are marked are all marked 1a, 2a, 3a, etc. Some of the ones that are marked at least have the dirección labeled: norte, sur, oriente, y poniente (north, south, east, and west).

We shopped and haggled with the Mayans, tested out some local food, and that evening, we went to a Peruvian restaurant for the rehearsal dinner. Enough of me rambling, though, here are some pictures. Take close at the picture below that is of me and my wonderful and beautifulm and obviously patient wife (it was early as well so we were still very tired). I made her join in the photo-op.

Carefully look over my right shoulder and you will see why I am smiling. :)

Awwww...What a cute couple. Wait! Hey, statue
lady, what are you squeezing on my shoulder?


I tried go get him to say "!Hola!"
but he just kept saying "ass face".
Guess he knows English.


Antiguan archway.


Cerro de la Cruz, literally, Hill of the Cross. From here
can overlook Antigua and the area for miles and miles.


Fantastic 11-man Marimba band performing at
the rehearsal dinner.


~More will come soon, my friends~