Tuesday, August 15, 2006

It's "Mr. Kentucky Born Ahole.net" to you



The picture is completely unrelated...I just thought it was funny.

I hate to talk about a topic which is very similar and related to a recent post, but in a way this rant will be completely unrelated, so nevermind. As I was surfing the net at work today during my multi-hour task avoidance period, I stumbled upon an odd story, to say the least. It seems three people employed at PETA (People for the Eating of Tasty Ethical Treatment of Animals) recently decided to change their names to PETA-affiliated websites. Yes, you read that right. I can appreciate sticking to your convictions, but what kind of crazy do you have to be to LEGALLY change your name to "Mr. Kentucky Fried Cruelty.com"? The other two people legally changed their names to "GoVeg.com" and "Ringling beats animals.com." Wow.
But as kooky as that story was, I was more shocked by this next one. The PETA story wasn't too odd, mainly because we all know vegetarians are kooks anyway (kidding, just wanted to see if you were still reading at this point). In Vietnam, a 19 year-old young man finally got his name changed. His father, obviously insane, named the poor bastard, Fined Six Thousand and Five Hundred - in reference to the amount he was forced to pay in local currency for ignoring Vietnam's two-child policy. Following his dad's line of thinking, he switched it to Golden Dragon. What's next for his younger sister, Miss Me-So-Horny?
So, in lieu of the recent name-changing fad, as the title states, I want you all to start calling me "Mr. Kentucky Born Ahole.net" from now on. I ran "The Big D-ck Daddy from Cincinnati.org" past my wife last night and got nothing; I took her silence as an emphatic hell no. Then, I threw out "Mr. Kentucky Born Ahole.net" , and got the reply "That's more you, honey."

A new name was born.

I will soon be integrating a Prince-like symbol for my new name; God only knows what it will look like, but with a last name like Ahole.org, I have a couple of ideas.

posted by Barry S. at 1:54 PM

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Comments:
That's a pretty peculiar name to give a child--he must have had crack rocks for breakfast the morning his child poppped out of the womb.

I'm not sure if Golden Dragon is much better, though...he sounds like a Chinese buffet.

For full effect, I think you should change your blogger post name as well. I mean, just so people can start to become acquainted with your new title.
# posted by Blogger Beth : August 15, 2006 2:57 PM
 
Beth - Not a bad idea! Why didn't I think of that?
# posted by Blogger Barry S. : August 15, 2006 3:18 PM
 
You were probably out to lunch at the Golden Dragon! (It's in Hamilton, have you ever been?) That joke would have probably been funnier in person, and after a few glasses of wine, at best.

I also meant to comment on wasting time at work. Story of my life! Er, summer, rather..haha
# posted by Blogger Beth : August 15, 2006 3:40 PM
 
I can't wait to see the symbol you create for your new name.

Hey, my wife a vegetarian, take that back! We're both offended.

I love names.
# posted by Blogger egan : August 15, 2006 4:07 PM
 
beth - I haven't been to the Golden Dragon...I have been to Hamilton lots of times. I worked at the hospital there. Hamilton is...interesting...and most things are funnier after a few glasses of wine. I should know, I keep a box of merlot in my knapsack at all times. :)

egan - I promise you my new symbol will be a good one.
Oh, my wife is a vegetarian also, so all three of you can be offended together!
# posted by Blogger Barry S. : August 15, 2006 4:59 PM
 
i'm a vegetarian too. i eat them with my steak and chicken!

mr. kentucky born ahole.net - cool!

i think i want my name to be
californiakidpayingtaxesforprisionerrightstobeexicuted.ca.org

thank you
# posted by Blogger mgc : August 16, 2006 3:14 AM
 
Crashy, you're a veggie-eater (I think that's more cruel towards animals, to eat all their food and let them starve to death) - what do you say? :)

Barry, loved the cartoon!
# posted by Blogger Dizzie : August 16, 2006 3:15 AM
 
Yupp I'm a vegetarian, but as i told ya before its not cuz I love animals, its cuz I hate vegetables.

And I thought my parents had given me a strange name. Guess the new name says more abt you than "Barry" (for better and worse).

Regarding the pic, just heard that Trump said that he thought Ivanka was gorgeous and if she wasn't his daughter he'd consider dating her... How creapy isn't that?!?!
# posted by Blogger Crashdummie : August 16, 2006 6:56 AM
 
Yes...Hamilton is interesting to say the least. Not someplace I plan to raise a family/kick off my journalism career. Noooooo thanks.

Yes, wine just makes everything better. I should heed your advice and just carry it in my water bottle, instead of, well, water.

Hoorah for vegetarians! We're taking over the world.
# posted by Blogger Beth : August 16, 2006 9:51 AM
 
I'm all for really sticking to your convictions, but yea, those names are a little over the top. I don't know if you're really and A-hole or not, I'm guessing not, but your blog entry was hilarious!
# posted by Blogger Carnealian : August 16, 2006 9:06 PM
 
Can i call you ASS for short?
# posted by Blogger Steph : August 17, 2006 12:38 AM
 
Funny you should touch on this. I wanted to change my name to "Alpha Johnson." But my wife wouldn't let me.

So now it's just my nom de plume.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : August 17, 2006 2:12 AM
 
mgc - Cool! I like the name! A little wordy, but I think in a year or so you'll be able to correctly spell it.

heart - That cartoon is too funny, isn't it? I love the 'hair helmet' comment. I've got other funny ones I will post soon.

crashdummie - I am not an ahole...I just play one on Blogger! :)

beth - Hamilton is a great place! Wine makes it very pretty!

carnealian - Thanks! I only self-deprecate for humorous effect. I really am not an ahole. Now shut the hell up.
:)

steph - for a partying Aussie such as yourself, you can call me anything you wish. Well, asshead might be a bit much.

LBB - I was wondering if Alpha Johnson was your real name or not. I like it. I am gonna get your book soon, so let me know if you want to swap copies with me.
# posted by Blogger Barry S. : August 17, 2006 11:12 AM
 
barry - ok i'm changing my name to the following:

cali_kid_wasting_tax money_4 welfare.
ca.k12.org


did i spell that right?
# posted by Blogger mgc : August 17, 2006 1:25 PM
 
Really Barry - wow, you had me totally fooled! Boy you should get an oscar ;)

Btw, hows the soccer coming along?
# posted by Blogger Crashdummie : August 18, 2006 7:17 AM
 
mgc, can you change your name again please? its been almost an hour without any further changes! :)))
# posted by Blogger Medio Pomelo : August 18, 2006 9:13 AM
 
i think next time i bet with someone the stake will be a donald trump hairjob... just have to make sure i bloody well know my answer before the bet!
# posted by Blogger Medio Pomelo : August 18, 2006 9:26 AM
 
MGC - I like it! Tank goodness I use spell checker or esle I wouldd mispel a bunch of carp.

crashdummie - You think I am fooling? I am nice! C'mon! I was voted "Nicest Blogger" on my street. Soccer is on hold for now until my knee starts feeling better! I may switch to badminton in the meantime. :)

dora - I say throw caution into the wind and go for the hair helmet look. Be a trendsetter in your circle of friends!
# posted by Blogger Barry S. : August 18, 2006 9:50 AM
 
I could so use a glass (or three) of wine right now. Is that bad when it's only 2:39 p.m.?? LOL
# posted by Blogger Beth : August 18, 2006 2:45 PM
 
Beth - What's wrong with my favorite Westie? Having a bad day?
# posted by Blogger Barry S. : August 18, 2006 5:59 PM
 
Haha...ohh not really...I just didn't feel like being at work yesterday. Hope all is well down in your 'hood!
# posted by Blogger Beth : August 19, 2006 10:37 AM
 
Really? You sure you weren't voted "The only Blogger" on your street? ;)

Badminton is fun - I'd say go for it! But before that, you gotto settle the score and kneel another soccer player... Bring back balance to the universe and all that you know. Not to forget, revenge taste sweetest when served cold *evil grin*
# posted by Blogger Crashdummie : August 21, 2006 6:48 AM
 
Beth - and the very same to you and yours!

crashdummie - If I ever see that kid, roaming the parking lots of his elementary school, don't think I will hesitate for a second to take him out.

BV - You are too kind. Not to me, though, but to my commenters. Always remember, I am the funniest.
# posted by Blogger Barry S. : August 21, 2006 3:38 PM
 
Hello :-)

Little me is back!

(On dial-up though... oh well!)
# posted by Blogger missy : August 21, 2006 4:06 PM
 
Hi Missy! So glad to have you back! Did you enjoy yourself?
# posted by Blogger Barry S. : August 22, 2006 8:53 AM
 
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