Ethics, Sawgrass, and Guatemala
Then, the professor gave us a list of scenarios to test our ethics. Damn, I was shocked at myself. Not “Tuskegee Syphilis Study” shocked, but shocked at myself nonetheless. Friggin’ ethics teachers.
Here is a sample of a similar one such list. Take it, and see how much of a reprehensible degenerate you are, like me:
WOULD YOU OR HAVE YOU EVER. . . YES or NO
1. Blame a friend or classmate or co-worker for a mistake you made? Y – in high school
2. Copy a friend’s homework? Y – yet again, in high school
3. Lie on your biography or resume to get a job or get accepted to college? N
4. Deliberately hurt, embarrass or ridicule a co-worker? N – Unlike some people, I would never put laxatives in food.
5. Not return change to a salesperson that gave you more than you were due? Y
5. Read or open someone else’s mail? N
6. Cheat at a game or contest in order to boost your score? N
7. Drive on the shoulder of a road in order to get ahead of other cars when you are running late? N
8. Knowingly violate the speed limit? Y – this morning
9. Not report someone you see stealing or cheating on a test? Y – Damnit! High school again!
10. Betray a friend’s confidence by telling others his/her secrets? Y – Cannot remember any instance in particular, but I am sure I am guilty of this, so I said “Yes”.
11. Deliberately throw or leave paper or trash on the floor or ground? Y – It has been years and years since I have been guilty of this, thank the good Lord.
12. Damage someone’s property (like denting a car door and nobody sees you) and then not fess up to it? Y – back in junior high, my brother and I thought it was cool to throw rocks at the hubcaps of passing vehicles
13. Ask a friend to tell you test questions? Y – see answer for #11
14. Allow your dog to “poop” on a neighbor’s lawn and not clean it up? N
15. Pretend to be sick at work or at school when you were not? Y – uh, yeah, like a month ago, I took a mental health day.
16. Copy and use software on your computer that you did not purchase? Y
17. Park in a handicapped spot? N
18. Download a music file such as mp3 from the Internet that you do not purchase or was not being given away? Y – I miss the days of Napster.
19. Spray graffiti on a building or write/carve a message on a tree, bathroom stall or school desk? Y – school desk in high school.
20. Cover up for or not report a friend whom you know has stolen or done something illegal? Y – small, yet still guilty.
Are you kidding me? I answered “Yes” to 14 out of 20? That’s like, 50%, or maybe even more than 50%... God, I hate myself right now; I am horrible at mathematics and highly unethical.
If you answered YES to half of these questions, you should be punished by scraping chewing gum off the undersides of tables and desks for the remainder of your wretched life. Just kidding. Sort of.
In all seriousness, it must be damn hard to remain ethical at all times. Constantly we are challenged to perform unethical behavior, whether it be at work, home, at the mall, or while you are in your best friend’s bedroom with his wife while he is at work…oh, wait, I should save that analogy when I discuss MORALS, not ethics. Sorry.
Now, let me throw a scenario to you, that has happened to me as I am sure to all of you as well: You are at a restaurant, you eat, get the check, and when you get ready to pay, you notice a mistake: they failed to charge you for one entrée worth $11.95. Do you mention it to the server or let it go and save yourself $11.95? On the other hand, have you ever been over-charged for a bill, and when you notice it you quickly point it out? Lots of things to think about. Here’s my theory of what I do when given extra change; feel free to call me out if you think otherwise:
When I am given extra change, say under $10, I rarely give it back. Now, this happens very infrequently; I am not always given extra monies everywhere I go. I do this because I feel karma will eek it out of me at some time or another. Take this weekend for instance. On my way home Friday night, I stop at a restaurant and pick us some dinner (Italian, quite good). I order Tiramisu for dessert, and when I get home 20 minutes later I realize the place didn’t put the Tiramisu in the bag. I had paid for it, yet like a dumb ass, I threw away the receipt since I paid in cash and didn’t think I would need it, so basically I was SOL (shit-outta-luck). I paid nearly $4 for a dessert I didn’t have. I called the place to no avail, so now I was Tiramisu-less and four dollars poorer. Next time I will keep my receipt, but this also validates my point that things will even out in the long run. So the next time I get an extra two dollars off my bill for no apparent reason, I will shut the eff up and not say a word. That will make me feel better about losing my scrumptious coffee and liquor filled Italian dessert.
In the meantime, I guess all we can do is try to be better, more ethical people. Now go do the right thing….. (and no, that does not mean clubbing Dr. Laura Schlessinger over the head and neck).
If you need me you’ll know where to find me; I’ll be the one under the desks in the library with a scraper smelling like Juicy Fruit.
Sawgrass
A good buddy of mine played at Sawgrass in
Here is a photograph of him in full swing:
Guatemala
The Fiction Scribe and his band of merry women will be traveling to
Here is our place:
Our room is #9. I will take a mess of photos, and, if I am lucky, I will be able to smuggle back a couple of Guatemalans to serve as my minions, particularly ones with excellent fetching, stenographic, and typing skills. I will have one bring me beer while the other transcribes all my ramblings into blog form. It will be highly unethical, but a man’s got to enjoy himself sometimes, right? ¡Hasta luego!
posted by Barry S. at 2:15 PM
